Eight gifts that will cost you!

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I am looking forward to the holiday vacation I will be spending with my family this year. This is important to me. My kids now have their own kids growing up too fast, and the Ilocana and I are growing old too quickly.

It’s been a while since the Ilocana and I spent Christmas out of the country. Since her stroke last year, this is the first time that I will be bringing her on an overseas trip.

Friends and loved ones have been giving me Christmas gifts, and this made me remember a lesson I taught my own kids when they were young. Back then, when I was still with the garments industry, there were so many gifts given to me by my suppliers. These were wonderful people but they were my business friends.

My wife and I had to spend a lot of hours opening the gifts, taking notes and making sure I could at least call or send them a “thank you” card for their thoughtfulness. There was one interesting observation I made about the gifts I received and the givers who gave them: the bigger the business transaction, the more expensive the gift. But these were “business gifts.”

I remember one evening when I pulled my wife close and said, “Sweetheart, these are wonderful people, but they are our business friends. Never forget that. They remember us because of the business we give them — and the moment we stop doing business with them, they will forget us.”

The Ilocana smiled. She understood.

It’s been years now. I have left the industry. Most of the Christmas gifts stopped coming the first year I left the company.

But one thing I observed is this: gifts from real friends don’t stop coming — because real friends don’t care what you do or how much money you earn. They’re there for you because they are your friends (period). It is not a relationship that is driven by business but by love and care.

Now that the holidays are here, allow me to suggest some gifts you can give to your friends all year round. These gift suggestions do not have to be expensive, but they will cost you something.

A truly meaningful gift is not something convenient; it’s something that costs you a little bit.

Here are eight such gifts:

1. The gift of time

You’re busy. I’m busy. Everybody’s busy. That is a given.

But make time to have lunch, dinner or breakfast. Don’t just call, text, or email —it doesn’t cost you much.

Spend some time together. And when you do, give them the next gift.

2. The gift of listening

Tune out all your business or family concerns and tune in. Really, really listen.

No interrupting. No daydreaming. No planning your response. They’re your friends, and you’re not out there to do a presentation or to impress someone. Just listen.

Now when you’re having a meaningful conversation make sure that this is the next gift you give to your friends…

3. The gift of laughter

Don’t be too serious in your conversation all the time. Laugh with each other. Share some funny stories and some funny experiences because this gift you’re giving is essentially saying: “I love to laugh with you and not at you.”

Some friends may be far away, so consider a meaningful gift. And this is:

4. The gift of a written note

It can be as simple as: “Hey, thanks for the help,” or something longer, and you have to remember this. A brief handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime and even change a life.

An email could hardly do this.

5. The gift of a compliment

A simple, sincere word like “You look great in red,” “You did a great job,” or “That was a wonderful meal” can make someone’s day.

6. The gift of a favor

Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.

7. The gift of solitude

There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone.

Be sensitive to those times. Give the gift of solitude to others.

8. The gift of a cheerful disposition

The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really, it’s not that hard to say, “hello” or “thank you.”

And just one last suggestion, if you would allow me.

Why not surprise your security guards, janitors and messengers with a lavish gift that will make their family’s Christmas celebration a lot more meaningful and unforgettable?

Never forget.

You put God in your debt when you are generous to the poor.

Have a blessed Christmas!

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