MIND DA NOISE: April F***s

MINDANAO (MindaNews / 01 April) – Update: Nakagawas si President Digong… sa iyang selda sa ICC. Because he needs fresh air for the first day of the new month, which happens to be April Fools.

Tatay Duterte has just turned 80. Dabawenyos celebrated with a street party on Friday flooding Roxas Avenue and parts of Claveria with a sea of green. There was singing and swearing against President BBM all night long.

There were also birthday-rallies held in other cities and other countries. Global celebration daw. There was also an anti-Duterte rally on his birthday. Interestingly, both camps wish the same thing on Duterte’s birthday: that he may live longer.  To reconcile both wishes, there should be justice served first, then he can go home. Date to be announced in the future.

But the rally was huge. How big was the crowd? A blogger claimed the crowd was 150,000. Police said it was 60,000. VP Sara asked: nasaan ang 150,000 na ebidensya? How can you prove 150,000 if you don’t have their names?

VP Sara by the way, still needs to answer where she got those hundreds of names in her confidential funds liquidation. Do Mary Grace Piattos, Xiaome Ocho, Dodong Bunal, Miggy Mango, Jay Kamote, Beverly Claire Pampano, Mico P. Harina, Patty Ting, Ralph Josh Bacon, etcetera really exists, or they are a grocery list called Kitchen Confidential (apologies to the late Bourdain for stealing the title of his book).

The party in Davao was festive with songs and dance, kulang na lang si Karlo Nograles mosayaw.  Mayoral candidate Karlo has been trending in doing dance moves on his social media.  But the mayoral race is not a dance challenge. Lahi ang dula sa mga Duterte, so to speak.

Who actually showed up was Senator Bato dela Rosa, with no disguise or wig. The senator is trying to shrink himself from public space as he feared he is next to be arrested and sent flying to the ICC.  This is a challenging time for dela Rosa who is seeking re-election. He might as well change his old campaign slogan into : “Itago Niyo si Bato.” (You hide Bato).

Another Duterte supporter who showed up in the Netherlands for the party, and the ICC, is former spokesperson Harry Roque. Roque, who fled the country last year to evade a congressional probe on his role in illegal POGO activities, is seeking asylum in the Netherlands.

Here’s our advice to the anti-Dutertes who oppose his asylum application: Tuguti na lang mag-asylum, diha sa mental asylum, aron mahilom.

Not every party for Tatay Digong had a happy ending. 19 Pinoys including OFWs in Qatar were jailed for an illegal demonstration. The rally started with Pinoys shouting for Duterte, but now they are shouting for BBM to save them.

Rally organizers were said to have assured VP Sara and Bong Go are “lakas” with the government in Qatar in case things go wrong.  Look what happened. Ka-Ka-fake news niyo kasi. 

The 16 currently detained in Qatar may face possible deportation, detention up to three years and fines that range from 10,000 Riyals (P152,970) to a maximum of 50,000 Riyals (P764,850). The penalties are also called zero remittance.

So, after the party, kumusta ang political party?

Baste seems to have a tactic here: rant lang ng rant against BBM.

Their call for zero remittance week, murag ang pamilya man hinuon sa mga OFWs ang gipaantos. ICC is not getting any money from OFWs, so who’s hurting here?

“I am Not Filipino for Nothing”, what does it even mean? You can’t even translate that in Bisaya? Ato ni Bai was a clearer, cooler slogan.

What’s in a name? What does Duterte stand for?

After the party ends, the trial continues, the impeachment will take place, an election where you can barely remember who’s in Duterte’s party.

Sana may forever, but not this time.  Change is always coming. 

(Mind Da Noise is a column by jaded Mindanawon observers.)