Overrated authenticity

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“Just be yourself.”

It’s on office posters, in HR slides, graduation speeches, mugs and TikTok reels. We have turned those three words into a modern commandment — and a corporate slogan rolled into one.

But what if this beloved advice isn’t as harmless as it sounds?

Business psychologist Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, in his book “Don’t Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (and What to Do Instead),” argues that our obsession with authenticity is starting to misfire, especially at work.

Authenticity is good. Idolizing authenticity? That’s where we get into trouble.

Think about what “be yourself” has slowly come to mean. For some, it becomes:

“I feel it, therefore I must say it.”

“I want it, therefore I deserve it.”

“I am this way, so everyone else should adjust.”

What started as an invitation to drop the fake corporate mask can quietly morph into a license for self-centeredness.

The spotlight shifts from contribution to personal expression.

The office becomes less about serving customers and colleagues — and more about starring in our own reality show.

And then we wonder why collaboration is hard.

It doesn’t help that we’ve built an entire motivational industry around a few catchy mantras. They look beautiful on Instagram; they are far more dangerous when they run our behavior on Monday morning.

Take “always be honest.”

Of course, honesty matters. But many confuse honesty with dumping everything that comes to mind. The problem? Our self-perception is often biased to begin with. What we call “speaking our truth” may simply be our blind spots with better branding.

Colleagues don’t always need the uncut version of our opinion; sometimes they need timing, tact and encouragement.

Then there’s “stay true to your values.”

In theory, yes. In practice, this advice comes with a giant asterisk: it depends on your values.

History is full of very “authentic” leaders who followed their values passionately — and did enormous damage.

Consistency is not automatically a virtue; it matters what you are being consistent with.

Or how about “don’t care what other people think”?

That sounds bold and fearless. It’s also unrealistic.

Promotions, opportunities, and leadership roles are all influenced by how other people experience you.

Completely ignoring feedback doesn’t make you brave — it makes you unteachable. Growth requires some concern for how we land on others.

And one more favorite: “Bring your whole self to work.” Lovely line.

But what exactly is in this “whole self”? Our impatience? Our laziness?

Work needs our best selves, not every unprocessed impulse that wakes up with us.

This is where Chamorro-Premuzic’s point comes in: raw, unedited authenticity can sabotage our careers.

Success is not just about who we are; it’s also about how others experience who we are.

That’s where strategic self-presentation enters — not as fakery, but as wisdom.

Strategic self-presentation means being intentional about how we show up. Choosing what to share and when. Reading the room and matching our message to the moment.

It’s the difference between replying to an email after you calm down, versus firing off your “authentic feelings” at 1:37 a.m. and spending the next three days doing damage control.

We do this in other areas of life without feeling fake.

The stakes get even higher in leadership.

Some leaders like to say, “I’m just being real,” as if those excuses everything.

But if your version of “real” consistently leaves people anxious, confused, or crushed, then authenticity is no longer the issue. That’s simply poor leadership with a trendy label.

Good leaders still show their humanity, but they manage their impact.

They define reality clearly — even when the news is painful.

Authenticity without strategic awareness can easily turn into oversharing, drama, or panic.

The right question for a leader is not “Was I true to myself?” but,

“Did my people walk away safer, clearer, and more capable?”

The CEO can get away with quirks that would cost an entry-level employee their job.

The star performer has more room to be blunt than the new hire.

Social status cushions the blow of being “just yourself.”

For most people, total self-expression at work comes with a price tag. The higher your vulnerability in the system, the less margin you have for reckless authenticity.

That may not sound inspirational—but it is real.

Are we supposed to become fake, scripted robots? No.

The answer is to move from absolute authenticity to responsible authenticity.

Know who you are. Know your values. Know your story.

But also know where you are, who you’re with, and what the situation demands.

Hold your identity in one hand and your empathy in the other.

Edit yourself not to impress people—but to serve them better.

Maybe the new career advice should sound more like this:

Don’t just be yourself. Be aware of yourself.

Be responsible with yourself.

Be strategic with yourself.

In a world shouting “authenticity” at maximum volume, the quiet skill of self-awareness and thoughtful self-control might be your real competitive advantage.

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Join Francis Kong at SpeakersCon 2026, a one-day experience designed for leaders, educators, executives, and professionals who want to communicate with clarity, credibility, and purpose. Happening on Feb. 11, 2026, at SPACE, One Ayala Makati. Gain practical insights on leadership, influence, and authentic communication in today’s evolving landscape. For inquiries, email us at [email protected] or send us a direct message at facebook.com/SpeakersCon. Visit www.speakerscon.ph for details.