Why wounds?

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Imagine that you are the Resurrected Christ. You are about to appear to the eleven disciples for the first time since you rose from the dead. The last time you were with them, they had abandoned you. The first verse of our Gospel today (John 20:19-31) sets the scene:

“On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them...”

If the detail about the doors being locked is too subtle, the Gospel then states plainly the reason why they ran away three days before: fear. Before you enter the room, pause for a few moments and ask yourself: What would your first word or action be toward those who fled from you?

Maybe after pressing against the door and finding it locked, you would just shake your head, turn away, and mutter, “They’re not worth the trouble.” Or maybe you would barge into the room, voice rising with indignation, finger pointing in accusation, and declare, “I told you so!” Or maybe you would saunter in silently, arms folded, one eyebrow raised, and let a cold stare do all the talking.

Or perhaps you would overwhelm them by filling the table with bread and fish, flooding the room with blinding light, or surrounding them with visions of every person you had ever healed. Or maybe you would quote the disciples’ words back to them: “Though all may have their faith in you shaken, mine will never be.” Then perhaps you would reach back into your preaching’s greatest hits and let a few lines fall like thunder over their heads: “Woe to you….” “Whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father.”

But then, that would not be Easter.

Easter is when Jesus’ first word to the fearful disciples is: “Peace.” Easter is when Jesus’ first action toward his friends is to show them the wounds on his hands and his side.

“Peace” is the one word that can speak directly to their fear and shame. Showing them his wounds proves that the Risen Jesus is the same one who was crucified and died. But the wounds can do more than verify his identity. Wouldn’t those wounds also remind the disciples of their failure? Wouldn’t the sight of nail marks and a pierced side confront them with everything they did and everything else they didn’t do? Wouldn’t those wounds, in any ordinary human story, cancel out the greeting of peace?

Why wounds?

We cannot say that we are truly close to a person if all we know are his or her strengths. It is an invitation to intimacy when a person shares his or her weaknesses with us. In that moment, the person has become vulnerable to us. Vulnerability, from the Latin word vulnus, which means wound, is a dangerous gift to give because it gives the recipient the ability to hurt us. In Jesus’ case, showing his wounds to his disciples is like giving them the ability to hurt him—again.

The Risen Jesus does not approach us again only from a position of power, not only with works of wonder and flashes of glory. He opens himself again to us, opens himself again to being rejected by us, because to love is to open yourself to hurt.

Jesus showing us his wounds is also a sign of forgiveness. It is a way of telling us: “My love for you is deeper than these wounds.” Jesus’ baring of his wounds after the Resurrection is also a proclamation: “There is something beyond wounds.” There is something better waiting for us if we can go beyond past hurts and pains. This is Easter.

Your prayer assignment this week:

Go back to the first verses of our Gospel today:

“On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, ‘Peace be with you.’ When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.”

What are the wounds that have made you lock your doors because of anger or fear of being hurt again? With whom have you shared these wounds? Did they help you heal, or did they just cause you more pain?

Easter comes on the first day; Easter is beginning again. If you cannot begin again… yet, then maybe imagining Jesus entering the locked room of your heart, sharing his wounds, and singing Coldplay’s “The Scientist” can help:

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start...

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start...

Easter is a mystery. And so Chris Martin wisely sings:

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Logic will tell you to keep away from those who have hurt you. But Jesus is not a scientist. He is a Lover.

In our Gospel today, Jesus invites Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side….” Think about it: This opens Jesus up to more pain, to barely healed wounds bleeding again. But this is what Easter means. Easter is not the false hope of all pain ending, but the strange hope that makes us believe it is possible to forgive, to risk getting hurt again, and to go back to the start.

Fr. Francis teaches Theology, Education and Scripture at both the Ateneo de Manila University and Loyola School of Theology. As a classroom teacher, he is first and foremost a student. As a professor, he sees himself primarily as a pastor.