Wrestling with God

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THROUGH UNTRUE

It is deeply frustrating when our prayers go unanswered. We begin to wonder if praying is just a waste of time and effort. In our desperation, we cry out: “Awake, O Lord! Why do You sleep? Why do You hide your face?” (Psalm 44:23).

Prayer can feel like wrestling with a God who seems unmoved by our pleas. But if it is any consolation, Jesus Himself had this experience. Hanging from the cross, wounded, abandoned, and in pain, He longed for a word from the Father. Yet, all He received was silence. In that moment, Jesus became the perfect model for anyone who feels that God is indifferent to his pleas.

I remember presiding over a funeral Mass for a man who had died in a car accident. After the service, his widow approached me in tears and asked, “Why did God allow this to happen?” My first instinct was to share what I had learned in the seminary about undeserved suffering. But I stopped myself. I thought it might come off as dismissing her grief, or worse, making excuses for God’s silence.

Besides, how can my words compensate for God’s silence when I, too, have felt like I am waiting for a God who seemed too slow to respond? In today’s Gospel, Jesus says: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened” (Luke 11:9–10). Yet there have been times in my life when these appeared like unfulfilled promises.

Later, I realized that God preferred to be silent because often times, I was not really praying to God as He is, but as I want Him to be. I want a God who responds on my terms, fixes my problems, soothes my guilt, forgives my sins, heals me when I am sick, and punishes those who hurt me. I want a useful God, a divine provider who asks for little in return.

I once read about a man who, after hearing the story of God asking Abraham to sacrifice his son, said: “I want to worship that kind of God, not a soft, marshmallow-like deity who gives everything in exchange for my attendance at Sunday Mass or occasional praying of the rosary. I want to worship Abraham’s God, fierce and passionate in His love for me, and who expects me to love Him with equal intensity.”

Jesus challenges us to stop seeing God as easy to turn to and easier to discard when not needed. When He taught His disciples the “Our Father,” it was not meant as a magic formula for a quick solution to our problems. Prayer is not a transaction or a shortcut to gain God's attention or favor. Treating prayer this way implies that saying the right words will automatically trigger a divine response. True prayer fosters a deep relationship with God, helping us to align our will with God’s, rather than attempting to bend God’s will to our desires.

Many times in the Gospels, Jesus’ prayer reflected the depth of His relationship with the Father. “Rising very early before dawn, He went off to a deserted place to pray” (Mark 1:35). He did not pray out of obligation, but out of His boundless love for the Father.

Although prayer can feel like wrestling with God, Jesus asks us to pray persistently. He urges us not to give up, like the man who knocks on a friend’s door at midnight for bread (Luke 11:5–8)or the widow who pesters a corrupt judge to grant her justice (Luke 18:3). Jesus reminds us: “If you, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” (Luke 11:13).

Still, we must be humble enough to let God be God. Yes, He hears our prayers, but He answers in His way and in His time.